1901 (Phoenix Cover) - Birdy

I try to understand past conversations and past connections. Breaking and braking.  Rewinding and wandering. Pandering to the worse explanations of lost hope. And the dread that mending requires too much dissection ...

zero

I'm still here alive and well.

Favorite Quotes

"The symbol of the moon was the rabbit, considered as a sign of plenty." pg 15 Codices of Mexico and their extraordinary history by Maria Sten

"One not guilty of fault or error often pays dearly for another's sin." pg 94 - dont remember

"A crisis of subtle alienation requires, and discovers, a medium of subtle transformation: not the cultural mechanisms of history, with its known circumscriptions, but the powers of the magical genre of culture, known as romance." pg 36 Empire of Magic by Heng

"Our planet's atmosphere is not guaranteed to last forever, and neither is our free will." pg 10 freedom evolves by Daniel C. Dennett

Adventures in being laid off

...

Unpublished - America's Sweetheart

I expected the fratboys and the hipsters. I didn't expect the lesbian couples and the elderly gentlemen with snazzy sneakers. Storm Large and the Balls have developed a cult following from the denizens of Beaverton and the downtown underground. Not until the announced raffle for the benefit of the Q Center did the lesbians, and the elderly gentlemen too, make sense. Sitting in the balcony of the Wonder Ballroom made for excellent people watching against the backdrop of Storm's Christmas special. According to the gentlewoman next to us, we had missed Sam Adams and Storm's rendition "Baby It's Cold Outside". She had wanted to hear Storm sing for awhile and Adams spoken word performance had won her over. After a few minutes conversation, I had decided to adopt her as my aunt and then learned she's a tranny. I had no idea. She high fived both of us, genuinely pleased. To mention that part of Storm's appeal is her rauchy mouth would be blaise, she embodies feminine rock n roll freedom even as she claims the dork side of her persona in her sincere performance of "I'll be Home for Xmas". And no, it's not coincedence that I remember the same two Christmas songs from both Storm's special and Aimee's special. Each sit on opposite corners of what it means to be powerful and relevant females in the music industry just on the otherside of the mainstream. Storm was at ease performing with the Teen Idol (wouldn't you want Storm as your daughter's mentor...well I would) as she was performing with Morgan Grace in the highly unusual "Santa is a Carnivore". The performance of The Pixies, "Where is My mind?" made me smile but then I think that song makes perfect sense in any context. Storm was at her most endearing while describing her elbow rubbing with political leaders of Oregon. I so understand her excitement in her exclamation"I am a total whore and you're talking to me" to Governor Ted Kulongoski just as much as I understood the playful aggression towards a member of the audience "Give you a backrub before I fist you". Who else would generously give the audience a Christmas present as lovely as Darcelle reading "Twas the Night Before Xmas"?

at a loss for words

I'm tired

For many reasons, least of all not getting enough sleep at night. I had an entire list written out of what I was most tired about but that seems like a mote point now. Just waiting until I can return to work so that I can actually contribute to society and get paid for it. There seems to be so many steps to take until I am ready and fitting them into the timeframe I have is challenging. This isn't news to anyone, is it? We all have a timeframe to work in.